Friday, November 16, 2012

Is Social Media the Other Woman - Or Man - In Your Love Life?

I love the holidays.  It is truly the best time of the year.  And the best time for love and romance.  Nothing like snuggling up in front of the fireplace, sharing some eggnog and singing a few holiday tunes with Dean Martin or Neil Diamond.  
Ahh.  Now that's romantic.  But then....
Does technology grab your significant other's attention?  Does he or she start checking the old smartphone?  I am starting to wonder whether social media is the other woman - or other man - in relationships today.  Mashable an interesting article this week on the biggest problems technology brings to relationships. Here's my take on their top 5 Social Media Relationship Pitfalls!
1. Constant Tweeting/Facebooking/Emailing
Ever been on a date or at dinner with your significant other and you can't keep their attention long enough to hold a conversation? Keeping up with the fast pace of our digital lives is important, but we shouldn't be sacrificing face to face time for it! Typing on your cellphone throughout dinner doesn't make your partner feel loved or cared about, so put it away and focus on making googly eyes at each other instead!
2. Sharing info on Twitter/Facebook before you share it with your partner
This is a major no no. If your mate finds out about your promotion from a tweet, something is broken. It may not be an intentional slight, but make sure you are mindful about how to share information!
3. Should I de-friend my ex?
This is a tough one. Your comfort level with being Facebook friends with an ex might be different than your partner's. It's an important conversation to have. And even if you don't cut off digital ties completely, make sure you aren't constantly "checking in" on that ex's life and kids and updates- it may be tempting, but it's not worth it.
4. Why is SHE commenting on your pictures?
Do you get instantly suspicious when another girl (or guy) writes on your partner's Facebook wall or likes their photos? You are not the only one. Voicing these thoughts constantly will make you look crazy, but holding them in too long will DRIVE you crazy!
5. Relationship status updates: oh my!
This is the big conundrum of social media relationship issues. "It's complicated" "In a relationship" "Single"? Putting your status up for the world to see is a big stepp.  But the bigger question often is: "To change or not to change?" I'm in the camp of being slow to update a relationship status, unless you just got married or engaged.  Often girls who think their beau might be cheating on them are eager to get that "in a relationship" status up and linked to their partner. But trust me, if you have these concerns, the status-war is the least of your worries!  And you better make sure that the man in question agrees to the posting.
Have you dealt with any of these social media relationship pitfalls? What advice do you give your friends to deal with these problems?
What are your biggest relationship arguments that technology has caused? Let us know in the comments below.

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